Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
