Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize