uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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