Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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