I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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