so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
