Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
