Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
