I love black thongs
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
