He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize