Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
