Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
