"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
