She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
