dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
