i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
