in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
