Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize