Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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