When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
