Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Its about making memories worth repressing
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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