need another drink. this is the easiest way
She announced her abortion via fbk
P.S. I can't hear my feet
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize