this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
