Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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