You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize