I'm eating all of the evidence.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize