I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
