i don't like sucking hair
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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