You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
