my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize