idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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