sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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