Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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