Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
