Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
