I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
