Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
