it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I believe in your delicious
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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