is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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