I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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