she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
