A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
