You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
