We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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