she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
My vagina just clenched in fear
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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