The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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