There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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