I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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