dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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