You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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