I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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