Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
