But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
