What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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