I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
