i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
