So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
