Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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