I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
