Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
