There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize