i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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