Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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