i think i have herpe
just one?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
