I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
