I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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