That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
