imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
it's like iHOP with fire
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize